I recently finished an internship and had to say goodbye to a group of elementary aged children about whom I truly care. It was difficult to say goodbye. I remember feeling this way when I left the schools where I completed my student teaching. I also remember feeling this way when I left my brick & mortar school to begin working in the world of virtual education. Every time that I have closed a chapter, I have felt a wave of sadness. Interestingly, each time that I have closed a chapter, there has been major changes in my life. My first partner died 12 days before I began my first Master's program. My wife was moving 13 hours away when I began my virtual teaching, and my wife was diagnosed with cancer while I have been finishing my 2nd Master's degree. Things always happen to me in waves. I think that I feel so intensely because things happen so intensely around me. To be honest, it is this intensity and the fact that I have a truly gentle soul, despite my crusty exterior.
I began spring break today, and I have an entire week for just me. I'm not sure what to do with that week. I considered a cruise or last minute vacation, but I have so much to discover where I live that I may play tourist in my town. What I do know is that I need to take some time and just feel - because feeling is important and because to not allow myself to feel is dangerous. And, I'm already vulnerable.